If one thing is certain, we are all going to die. Probably not today, probably not tomorrow, but someday for sure. So why is it so difficult for us to envision that moment? Because it is unpleasant, and if we have already gone through it with parents, grandparents or close friends, this is something we do not with to think about too much. Yet, it is very important for us to have that talk with our families and loved ones, to make sure we are ready to leave them when the time comes, and that they will be covered and taken care of if they are unable to do so on their own. I am thinking particularly about young children. Many young parents, in their 20s or early 30s can’t imagine that they may not be around to see their child become an independent adult. So they forego the money talk, never decide on a life insurance policy, and in the end the child suffers not only the loss of his parents, but also a difficult financial situation. That is why talking about death is important. To make sure your spouse or your children won’t be affected financially by your passing.
According to that post from Legal & General, A THIRD of couples avoid talking about it altogether! And people tend to find that it is the most difficult topic to talk about with family members. I know, I have tried. But it is difficult to talk about it to your parents, because you may look like an ungrateful entitled kid just looking to know how much he will inherit. The way I approached it with my mum, who is a reasonable person, and has always worked hard and saved hard, was by taking the fiscal approach. I said “look mum, have you made arrangements to make sure all that money you are working so hard to save is going to go where you want it to go if something happens to you, be it to us your kids or to a charity of your choice, but not vanish in inheritance taxes?”. She was convinced, and later that year, she got together with a financial planner to make sure she was doing things right.
Another way to approach it with your parents is to talk about your grandparents, and the frustration your parents may have felt when their parents passed, having to deal with the whole estate planning situation on top of their grief. You may tell them it would be hard for you to to go through what they have with their parents.
And with your spouse, I would recommend you just start by saying you love them and hope you’ll always be around to help and care for them, but unfortunately that is not how life is, so you both should expect the best, while preparing for the worse. I promise, once you start talking about those difficult money topics, it only gets easier. Your relationship with your partner or your spouse will be strengthen once you set your financial goals together.
Then you can shake out the bad ideas but sleep soundly at night knowing your loved ones will be protected if something was to happen.